Sometime a few months ago, or perhaps an year or so, I stopped drinking. It was gradual at first. I would hold a glass of wine through a social evening, sometimes even venture into the second. But my body simply rejected it. It affected my sleep first, or lack thereof. I would toss and turn for hours, and when I did manage to fall asleep, it was fitful at best.

Sleep became my most precious commodity. Compounded with chronic migraine that I have suffered through the past 22 years, and the knowledge that my and my partner’s choices the previous night would dictate exactly how (or how little) I slept, became life-changing. Call it perimenopause or mindfulness, but my 43-year-old body simply decided to tell me that it did not like alcohol. And after months of fighting this, I finally gave in. I decided that the cons far outweighed the pros. Sure, parties seemed to be far more fun with a glass of wine, as did girls’ nights out. And besides the buzz, god help me, I actually liked the nuanced flavour of good wine or a boutique gin. But how it made me feel afterward just wasn’t worth it, for me.

So, I stopped. It wasn’t as dramatic as waking up one day and becoming a teetotaller. But I stopped caring for optics and holding that glass of wine throughout the evening. I gathered the courage to instead ask for a glass of non-alcoholic wine (NON3 is incredible, by the way). Or a lime soda, or perhaps an intriguing mocktail. And only when I distanced myself from the default drinking culture did I get a third-person view on it.

I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere in the last 20 years, alcohol became social lubricant. Not just that, it became a social necessity. I have had friends who were teetotallers, and I don’t remember that ever being a problem or even worthy of a conversation. But every single time in the past year that I have been asked what I want to drink, and I have looked at the mocktail menu or requested the host for a lime soda, the Spanish Inquisition has followed. What happened? Why are you not drinking? Have one. Do it for us. Just tonight. Words meant to persuade, but that end up making you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

I don’t ask someone holding a whiskey, what happened…why are you drinking? Since when are you drinking? Imagine doing that. Sounds intrusive and a bit unhinged, right? Then, what makes it a valid question when the beverage is 0 proof? Why do I have to justify my consumption choices to everyone when the choices are actually healthier and better for the human body? How did these tables turn around? Since when are 2 or 3 or 5 drinks the norm, but a person who prefers not to consume something that takes the body hours to recover from, the one in the spotlight?

Don’t be a party pooper. Oh, you’re so boring. Are you ok, health-wise? Why are these casually flung towards someone simply because of their choice of beverage? Imagine asking a vegetarian – but why? Just have one piece of beef. Just today. Why not? How boring you are. Newsflash, party people – I was always this boring 😀 It’s my personality type, not dictated by my beverage choices!

You also realise how socialising is built around drinking, nowadays. Plans are rarely made to go see a movie, meet for a weekend hike, or play a game of table tennis. Let’s catch up for beer in the evening? Absolutely. And as a Food Writer, I also realise how limiting beverage menus are for those who do not drink alcohol. With 20 pages of wine options, 5 pages of cocktails, and a list of the best whiskeys in the world, the menu will perhaps have 3 or 4 options for non-drinkers, besides the Cokes of the world, of course. So, if I want to make healthier choices, I am left with a sugar-filled, syrupy concoction or water. And this is when statistics show that in the younger generation, alcohol consumption has been reducing year on year, with mental clarity, fitness goals, irreversible health risk, and better sleep cited as the top reasons. In fact, while 50% of millennials and 40% of Gen X consume alcohol, only 25% of Gen Z, the younger generation (18-29 year olds) partake. Beverage programs need to get with it and come up with healthier and tastier 0-proof options if they are to read the changing market correctly.

I’ve always lived my life with the belief – to each their own. And thus, my beverage choices are in no way superior or inferior to those of someone else. They are simply what my body needs at this time. And may you decide for yourself. Perhaps it is a phase, and maybe it will change in a few years. I can see myself as a 70-year-old silver fox sipping a glass of wine, enjoying the sunset over Tuscan vineyards. But if that glass happens to be unsweetened iced tea, I’ll still be the same woman, won’t I?